Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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