I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
