Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
