But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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