she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
