PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so let's talk penis.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize