Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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