U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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