Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
