Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
