Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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