The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
