...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
