I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
