so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
