i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
