the day after is always just damage control
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
