dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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