Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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