Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
so much tequila, so little girl.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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