You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
