I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
