You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
