Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
