i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
