she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize