I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
