whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
