i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
