the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
this hospital has no fireball
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize