We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
