the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
His hands were made for my vagina.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
