So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
