thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
