Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You're like the curious george of whores
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
