last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
