Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize