Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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