She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize