She said her name was "party"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
