Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
