Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize