I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
