John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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