3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
