wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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