This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
