Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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