margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
