tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
