I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
