Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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