i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
