i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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